THE WEEKLY MOCHA MANUAL MINUTE FOR THE "MOCHA MOM TO BE"

THE WEEKLY MOCHA MANUAL MINUTE FOR THE "NEW MOCHA MOMMY"

You want to be empowered with trusted information on healthy babies and a healthy you! The Mocha Manual has it covered.

Pick up The Mocha Manual to a Fabulous Pregnancy for our hearty Appendix chock full of helpful resources on everything from hypnobirthing to finding household help and from fixing your relationship to fixing your finances.

In the meantime, check out some
of our favorite links:

ACOG
American College of
Obstetricians and
Gynecologists

The Black Women's Health Imperative

Mahogany Baby

NIH
National Institute of Child Health
and Human Development

NUFF
National Uterine Fibroids
Foundation

The Preeclampsia Foundation

Share
Pregnancy Loss

U. S. Department of Health & Human Services, Minority
Women's Health

WHANJ
Women’s Health Alliance of NJ

Women of Color OB GYN

Family Finances | Healthy Eating | Life Matters | Style

LIFE MATTERS

There are a few things in life that are certain for a black woman in America: stress and more stress.

We face both racist and sexist misconceptions. At times, we may feel invisible among our own people.

Or we master the "shift" stepping in and out of the white world at work and in our professional endeavors and then shifting back into our communities. It's a survival skill most black women have mastered to the point where it is taken for granted. But "shifting" means we don't have the privilege of fully living our lives as our true selves.

And if it's not the biggies stressing us out, then there's what psychologists call micro-insults, you know, being followed around in a store or being mistaken for the help in a predominantly white neighborhood even if you're wearing a fur coat.

Then there are the everyday stresses of life – family, work, children, and partners, to say nothing of commuter traffic, the creeping line at your favorite java joint and the unexplainable sky-high price of skinless chicken breasts.

As if that weren't enough to contend with, there's a nasty myth in our community that black women are indefatigable, unshakable and tireless. It's a dangerous myth that has embedded itself in the psyche of the black community. We are not allowed to be vulnerable. We must be strong at all times.

"Black women are told they are tough, pushy and in charge instead of soft, feminine and vulnerable. The image makes her someone to be feared rather than someone to be loved. These stereotypes render Black women as caricatures instead of whole people with strengths and weaknesses, tender sides and tough edges. And ultimately they make Black women invisible because they are not seen for all that they really are," write Charisse Jones and Dr. Kumea Shorter-Gooden in Shifting – The Double Lives of Black Women in America.

What's more, our spiritual beliefs may also make us feel that suffering and self-sacrifice are part of the course of a Christian woman. But deve-loping a Christ-like attitude of putting others first doesn't mean being a doormat for others to walk over.

It's enough to make you wanna scream. But instead most black women pull out their Strong Black Woman (SBW) persona and suit up.

Here's a better way to cope:

Be strong, black, and a woman but kick the whole Strong Black Woman supermyth to the curb. It's not realistic to be there for everyone, handle every crisis, be the consummate professional or require less from lovers than they do from you.

Practice self-caretaking. When you take care of yourself you can do more, love more, and improve your chances of bringing a healthy child into the world.

Find another way to deal with trials instead of internalizing them, convincing yourself that you can handle it. Write about it (throw it away afterward, if you want) or talk about it--just let it out.

Practice the "So What" chorus. "So what" you said No. "So what" if so and so doesn't like you as much. "So what" that you chose to take care of yourself first this time.
(excerpted from The Mocha Manual to a Fabulous Pregnancy, Amistad/Harper Collins)

For more advice on handling life's "stuff" during pregnancy, check out The Mocha Manual to a Fabulous Pregnancy.